Bedtime routine--well it's a routine for us.

I know, I know--I've been doing it all wrong.  Don't I know I should put my toddler in the bed "drowsy, but awake" so that he learns to fall asleep on his own.  Every night, no matter how hectic the evening's activities, should predictably include a calming bath, an educational read, followed by the little one happily laying down in his bed and cooperatively drifting off to dream land.  No fight, no tears, no discussion.  Yeah, well we tried that (for awhile) and just decided to take another route when bedtime rolls around.

Yes, he gets read to.  Plenty actually.  In fact, tonight he came at me with a Dr. Seuss classic, a smile, and what had to be his special way of saying "read this to me please Mama."  Those "at least twenty minutes a day" don't have to happen right before bed, when he'd rather be spinning in circles in the middle of the family room burning off that last gallon of fuel before sputtering out for the night.  As for bath time, depending on the family schedule, it doesn't happen every single night.  Now on evenings like this one, which involved outdoor play with Daddy during my piano lessons and marinara sauce at dinner, the need for clean is a no-brainer.  I use the lavender scented stuff, but I swear it has never put him in an uber-relaxed state, ready to just pass right out in the crib.  Bath time is a hoot (though not especially calming), especially considering he knows all, and I mean ALL, his parts.  You name it, he can find it.  He's also totally intrigued by the properties of liquids at this stage in his development too--that kid adores the water.

So, how does he go to bed then, if I don't put him down on those cold sheets awake, at exactly the same time every night, locking the door behind me with no intention to re-enter for exactly 11 hours, no matter how much he cries, unless the house is on fire?  Well, after many distraught, and tear-filled (for Mama and baby) months of trying it our way, his way, their way, my way...I finally went with my way.  When he starts rubbing his eyes, and stumbling over his own feet (which on most "regular," uneventful nights is about 7:30 p.m.) I calmly scoop him up in my arms, find wherever he left Lovey Bear and grab him too.  Perhaps he's still holding on to a favorite bath toy--sure squirty puffer fish can cuddle too.  We snuggle into our usual position on the couch--a throwback to our days as a nursing couple (hard to believe he's been drifting off to sleep sans that evening ritual for 2 1/2 months now).  Lately, it's been The Backyardigans or Monty Python's Flying Circus that we tune into (yeah yeah, but it's not T.V. that rots their brains, it's lack of parental discretion and guided viewing) and after about 5-10 minutes of some wriggling and protesting on tougher nights, he'll close his eyes and turn himself so he's chest to chest with me in a cradle hold, like he is now, and remain asleep until morning.

Are there some nights after hard fought and tiring days, that I wish I could just lay him in his crib, cover him up, give him a kiss and close the door?  Sure, but most nights I'll hold him for a while before putting him in his crib even after he's drifted off, because it's not often that he's ever this still during the day.  His constant clinginess to me has finally passed--partly relieved and partly sad over this.  I know plenty who'll say I'm crazy, that I'm only making it harder on myself later on, but I know this season is going to fly by (so much of it already has), and I firmly believe that high school Gavin will happily find his own way to bed, though a bit later than 8 p.m., without the assistance of his Mom.  He'll probably be able to bathe himself and pick out his own books too if we're lucky.